


And In the Quiet We Persist

by HazelGatoya



Series: Between the Devil and the Digital Sea [4]
Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Being Homura Is Suffering, Gen, Madoka is doing her best, Operation Help Homura, Operation Kill Entropy, Plans upon plans upon plans, Post-Canon, References to Canon, Sayaka is being subtle for once, Still exploring Homura's new world, post-rebellion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-23 01:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelGatoya/pseuds/HazelGatoya
Summary: Homura is still trying to figure out certain parts of her realm. It has been a very long time since she's had to deal with anything quite this new, after all. Today is a little rougher than usual is all, but Madoka is here and happy, so the world doesn't seem that bad.
Series: Between the Devil and the Digital Sea [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1659613
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43





	And In the Quiet We Persist

Oh her eyes were _burning._

Homura Akemi stared down at her desk, groggier than she should be and more irritated than she cared to admit. She'd woken up this morning- that was the _first_ and _main_ problem, right there, really. She'd woken up. That meant she'd fallen asleep for the first time since the Incubators had trapped her within her own soul gem. She'd been exhausted after the battle she'd waged against the creatures of the void, yes, but she hadn't thought... she didn't need sleep like a normal person. If she didn't want to fall asleep, she usually didn't.

Second problem was _how_ she'd woken up. She'd been startled awake by Ganko running around the altar where she had torn Madoka in two, her only excuse for a bed in her lair. She should really try to make it to her apartment if she was going to be sleeping on Fridays now, it had given her a near panic attack because she had no memory of how she'd gotten there and had thought that perhaps the entire "tearing" incident had been a cruel dream. Ganko had been upset while she'd quickly run the numbers on her realm, searching for her little Madoka, making sure she was still here, making sure that everything was still hers and correct. Only realizing that Ganko babbling about school and that they were going to be late once she was done, the doll not helping her headache nor her panic when she'd realized that she was right. If she didn't have the ability to teleport directly there, she'd be at least a half-an-hour late.

And so she'd panicked her way directly into class, giving herself only five minutes to calm herself down enough to appear normal before her classmates and teachers while Ganko's babbling had ceased and the doll happily wandered between the desks like she usually did. The routine had been restored, until Sayaka Miki had come in and immediately locked eyes with her, uncharacteristic concern in them visible even though the room was slightly blurry. _Her eyes were balls of fire in her skull, threatening to pour blood once again._

A cursory glance was all Homura got before Miki was apparently satisfied and she'd sat down in her usual seat next to Kyoko. And then Madoka had come in and done the _exact same thing_ , only she'd opened her mouth before Saotome-sensei had come in to begin homeroom, interrupting the conversation that Homura was not prepared for. Saved by the bell. 

All of this led to the third and final problem- she had no idea what had happened yesterday. Her memory, when she'd searched it, was a complete blank from some point during the last lecture to waking up this morning. Which was both annoying and terrifying in equal measures. She had no idea if she needed to modify the memories of others, like she had done with Miki a couple of times this week- _stubborn, foolish blue-haired Miss Sayaka Miki, why could she just never accept happiness-_

"Miss Akemi, would you come up to the board to do this problem?"

Ahahaha, that was an anomaly she didn't want to deal with. But making a scene and then fixing the mess would take more energy, so she dragged herself out of her seat, blinking the smoke and blood out of her vision and slowly and deliberately made her way over to the board. She did know how to do this problem. She'd lost track of how many times she'd seen it done.

She picked up the marker. She was so very bored with algebra. She had seen so many universes, made so many calculations for Walpurgisnacht, she knew how to apply numbers like she knew how to breathe. This was nothing, even in her current weakened state, and she went back to her seat. 

"That was awesome, Homura-chan."

The whisper sent an electric shock up her spine, and she forced herself not to whirl around. She simply sat down, looking at Madoka and her earnest smile and that glow in her eyes- _her heart was going to give out one of these days again if there was a way for her to relapse it would be because of Madoka because everything was because of Madoka-_ and nodded, turning her gaze back to the blackboard as the lecture continued and another student was called up to the board. 

Kyoko was looking back at her, an eyebrow arched. Homura blinked at her coolly, and she gave a small, slightly embarrassed grin before turning around. _She questioned and questioned but she usually knew when to back away, not having answers was just annoying not a dealbreaker._ She really needed to pull herself together. Everyone looking at her like she was made of glass was beginning to get annoying.

_Aren't you made of glass though?_

_Thousands of broken shards melting from the haze in your head_

_Let's count them, let's count them-_

The bell rang and Homura blinked out of the stars, back into the classroom. Lunch. Her time to let her mind drift was over, she needed to start a few things- the mouse was irritating but he- shoot, no, Incubator, Incubator, the witch in her needed to stop influencing her thoughts- 

A plastic water bottle clunked it's way onto her desk, distracting her from the spiral and making her stiffen up all at once as she looked up at Miki who was far too close to her desk, far too close to her. _They'll hurt they'll hurt everything hurts they're angry-_

Homura blinked slowly. "What is this supposed to be?"

"Peace offering." Miki gave a slight smile and a shrug, there was a shadow of mischief over it though she didn't seem like she was trying to be malevolent. There was no Octavia at the corners of Homura's vision. Why then would Miki be smirking at her? "You're not looking great today is all, and you definitely weren't okay yesterday."

_By the holy tresses of the Beloved Law. Oh no._

"You really weren't," the Goddess herself remarked quietly, a hesitant hand reaching out to place itself right on Homura's desk, right next to her arm, the distance between them an inch and a thousand seas of stars. "I was going to ask you to come have lunch on the roof with us today, but... would you rather just talk in here?"

No no no this wasn't supposed to happen Madoka was supposed to be happy with her friends but she wanted- she wanted Homura to come- to the roof? She liked the roof. She didn't want to move, but the roof was nice but she didn't want to talk to the others was this really okay? "Would that make you happy?" is what she managed to ask after a moment of consideration.

Madoka gave her another one of those smiles. "It would make me happy to get to know you."

"Guess we're eating without Madoka today," Miki told Kyoko over her shoulder.

"Sounds good to me- even though we'll miss ya, tiny." Kyoko gave Madoka a sharp grin, and gave Homura bit of a hesitant one before following Miki out of the classroom.

When had Miki gotten so assertive and confident, again? Scratch that, when had she learned the concept of _space?_ "You should drink that," Madoka commented offhandedly once everyone had either filed out or was on the other side of the room in their own corners. Ganko had disappeared as well.

_Focus, Homura, focus. She's talking to you, nothing can be wrong._

She took a breath, uncapping the water bottle. She really didn't need it... "Are you settling in well enough, Madoka?"

"Oh, yes." Madoka beamed. "Sayaka, Hitomi, Mami, Kyosuke and Kyoko are all great friends. I'm a little surprised that we got so close-knit so fast."

"I see. I'm glad to hear that." She was. "I don't believe I know the name Mami..."

"Oh, Mami Tomoe, she's in the grade above us. She makes the most amazing tea and cakes, and her little sister Nagisa is so cute." Madoka grinned. "Makes me happy to not be the only older sibling in the group."

"You have a younger sibling...?"

"Yup, Tatsuya. He's an adorable little stinker," she giggled. "And I'm his best friend."

_Yes, you always were, even when you weren't there. He drew you in the sand all the time and cried whenever he saw the ribbons you gave me-_

Oh, Madoka was holding her hand now. Homura blinked, looking back at Madoka's half concerned, half amused gaze. "You tend to zone out _really_ hard, don't you Homura-chan?"

"I-I..." Forget her eyes, her entire face was on fire now. She had not been prepared for this. _She hadn't been prepared for this!_ She cleared her throat, looking down at Madoka's hand. Her hand. Their hands, their rings clinking together. Freezing cold metal that was the truth on deceptively warm skin. "I was just thinking about how... nice it would be to have a sibling."

"It's a shame more people don't," Madoka replied with a sigh. She wasn't letting go of Homura's hand. "Um... this is kinda personal but... you were really, really out of it yesterday." _Oh I still am._ "I'm surprised you're at school at all today."

"Yesterday was an off day," Homura admitted quietly, actually picking up the water bottle. She'd been told to drink it, and her throat was dry anyways. "I... er... don't remember most of it."

"You fell asleep during the last period and were practically sleepwalking when the Clara Doll woke you up and dragged you out by your hand."

Homura's brain stopped for a second. Just- stopped. Stalled. It was almost a relief. She couldn't remember the last time it had done that. "Oh." She sipped at the water cautiously. "I don't quite feel-" Her stomach gurgled violently at the sudden attention and she winced. Kyubey was right about one thing- these bodies were really, really inconvenient. Madoka looked worried again. She took another, longer gulp of the water Miki had left before continuing. "I'm not at one hundred percent today," she finished, tone more clipped than she would like, but it was what it was. "But I can function, so I'm here."

"I see..." Madoka released her hand, taking out her bento. Because it was lunch hour and the mortal goddess needed food. Homura _really_ needed to restart her traitorous mind. She was reacting instead of directing, but she was still ridiculously tired. Why, why was she so tired? "You've gotta take better care of yourself, though. You always look so tired, and Sayaka-chan said that's normal for you." Madoka pouted slightly. "It shouldn't be."

"You've become very good friends with Sayaka Miki, haven't you?" Homura asked, tilting her head. _Of course she had with how things had been before it was how things were supposed to be._

"Yeah, she's a little loud and kinda rude sometimes but so is Kyoko-chan. But she draws all sorts of amazing people to her, you know." Madoka gave a small, radiant smile. "That's got to be a talent of sorts, even if she doesn't get along with all of those people."

Homura's head tilt grew a little more pronounced. Now that Madoka mentioned it... "She makes people think about themselves," she replied slowly. 

Madoka nodded. "It's just who she is. Some people like it. Some people don't. But her siren call is still there." She began eating. "Is that why you don't like her?"

"...I don't have anything against Sayaka Miki." Anything she might have once had against the girl had eroded away into pity, it was just hard to think about that when she was stressed. Madoka was good at making people think about themselves too. Sayaka was weaker than her and Kyoko when it came to matters of self-preservation, but then... she'd never had the potential that she and Kyoko had. Or Mami. She had healed a boy's hand and had burned out both herself and Ophelia because she was a normal girl with no strings of fate attached to her except for that boy and Madoka. "I sometimes worry about her too. I just think that most days we don't know how to show that concern."

Madoka nodded as if her little ramble was the most sensible statement in the world, and it was so _early Madoka_ the _first few Madokas_ that Homura couldn't help but smile and continue, "You're pretty amazing yourself, you know. Miki is lucky to have you as a friend."

Madoka blushed a bit, but she was smiling too. "I'm glad you think so. I don't really feel amazing all the time-" she knew, she knew even though this was something that Madoka was wrong about- "But I must be doing something right." She looked down at her bento, and then took out an extra pair of chopsticks. "Did you bring a lunch?"

Homura raised a hand. seeing where this was going. "No, I'm really not that hungry today. I'll eat once I get home."

"You're sure?" Her pink pigtails flopped slightly as she tilted her head.

_I don't want to think you're lying to me, Homura-chan..._

Homura blinked away the image of Madoka crying, she wasn't in this timeline, she _wasn't_. Just concerned. "I'm certain. I have something to do anyways..." she carefully got her laptop out, setting it on her desk and opening it. "I'm probably not going to be very good company," she told her friend apologetically. "This takes a lot of concentration."

"Oh, is it a game?" Madoka slid her desk closer so that they were touching, peering at the screen that was filled with galaxies. "May I watch?"

Homura hesitated. Her familiars were there, and Madoka might have dealt with such things in her god form but she looked so curious and... she didn't want to try and scare her off again. This past week in her new world had been rough, she couldn't pretend it hadn't been. Talking to her helped quiet the incessant noise in her head, helped her feel... almost human again. 

Besides, she could always just bring her back down to Earth if she remembered and tried to ascend, right? Right. This was fine. "Alright." She took out her headphones, carefully putting them on and getting to work. Which did take up basically all of her concentration for the rest of lunch break as she placed lottes, fences of luiselottes and lilias, making towers of the latter as well. There really was no energy to power any of these at the moment, so she had to place them further back than she would like, but right now that was... fine. She'd figure it out, and most of the Clara Dolls and Kyubey were out gathering energy anyways. The creatures of the abyss, dark tentacles and claws that she had smashed through a couple of days ago, were her new Walpurgisnact. She just had to keep them away from Madoka, and whatever else she could do was just bonus work. 

She didn't see the golden sheen to one of Madoka's eyes as she peered over her shoulder at the screen, her expression grim as she watched what was obviously an unfair fight. It was gone when the bell rang and Madoka slid her desk back to where it should be, Sayaka and Kyoko and everyone else came back in and Homura put the computer away. She'd resume her work on it when class ended.

For now it was time to pretend to be a bored teenager again.


End file.
